The Fleeting Nature of True Friendship OR Enough is Enough

Picture this. You have a friend. Known her all your life. But lately, she’s been having some personal issues. Rough divorce. Drinking problem. Weight gain. Loneliness. Life hasn’t been a bed of roses. So. Finally some good news. She’s met someone. At first, you’re relieved. About time, you say. And then the big reveal: he’s doing a twelve-year stretch in maximum security. He’s an inmate. Your head’s spinning. You didn’t think her self-esteem was this bad. And now you have this situation. How do you handle it? What do you say? You’re going out with him? You’re hoping to wake her up, so you ask.

“Yes, I’m going out with him,” she responds, seemingly oblivious to the point you’re trying to make. But she knows.

 “Oh? Takes you nice places, does he?” you intone (sarcastically) to draw attention to her foolish behavior.

She takes the pretense to a new level. Looks at you with pity in her eyes. “He’s in jail, stupid.”

“And you’re going out with him,” you repeat, just to drive the point home. Just to make sure you’re on the same wavelength (in this conversation). Privately, of course, you know you’re on a different planet. You’d never date an inmate. No matter how bad things got.

“Yes, I am,” she repeats. With more vigor this time. “It’s not what you think, you know. Don’t judge!”

You realize she really means it. You realize it’s much worse than you thought. But you don’t give up, not yet. You want her to see the light.

“Don’t tell me,” you say, keeping up the sarcasm. “He didn’t do it.”

She goes into overdrive. No, he didn’t! He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wasn’t even in the bank! He was just outside, waiting in the car. He didn’t know they were gonna rob the place! They didn’t tell him. See? It was just bad luck. It could have happened to anyone.

You’ve no words to add to this. You sit there shaking your head. She goes on, a hundred miles an hour. She’s been through so much, I should be happy for her. This could be a new start. For both of them. She’s giving this a go. It’s a long term relationship. (Long distance, too, you pipe up.) She doesn’t hear you. Ploughs on. They’ll be getting married when he gets out. In 2018. She’ll only be 53. He 37.  It’s going to work.