No Pain No Gain OR the College Girl and the Older Man

She’s 22. He admits to 39.  He’s into Dire Straits. Huey Lewis and the News. Remembers John Cougar Mellencamp (fondly). She likes Pink. He does, too. Especially on her; it suits her. Dick mentions Meatloaf but she’s not into cooking. A brief pause, just short of stunned silence, reveals a gap, of the generational kind, making a grand entrance (once again). Still, Dick is determined to see this through. She’s young and nubile. Pneumatic. Not his intellectual equal but he’s going to let that slide. No pain, no gain, Dick’s looking at her, so young, so nubile, banging on about twilight. Apparently she really enjoyed it. Ah, finally, something he can latch onto. 'I prefer sunrise,' Dick says, with a serious air. She doesn’t even register what just happened. Nods, smiles, plays with her hair extensions. The main (steak for him, chicken for her) arrives. He pours wine, she tweets: Madison is having dinner with a friend. Puts the phone down, within comfortable reach.

The evening ends. Somewhat prematurely for Dick, way too late for Madison who has to get up early (for uni). Thanx 4 dinna it woz luvly, she texts him as her taxi pulls out from the curb. Dick waves. Once again, he’s disappointed. This was a third dinner he sprung for. He was hoping to get his leg over. Doesn’t quite understand what went wrong. He’s got hair, flosses regularly, works out. He thought she’d be up for it, so young, so nubile. So in need of a free lunch, Dick muses, in the car, on the way home.

Back home he sips cognac on the balcony (overlooking the city). Contemplates the situation, the one he has going with Madison. The ‘expensive dinners and no sex’ situation. Maybe it’s time to cut his losses. Look elsewhere. Dick decides to check his mail – he’d joined a dating site recently (just in case). A reply from a lady awaits. Her name is Beverly. She’s a single mother with four children. Admits to 39. She thinks they might have a lot in common. She too likes the theatre. Course, he he he (writes Beverly) she doesn’t get out as much as she’d like, what with four active youngsters and all … Dick hits the delete.

The morning finds Dick at the gym. Crunches, pushups, dumbbells, barbells, bench press. He's working out the steak, the baked potato, the tiramisu. It's killing him, but hey, no pain, no gain. Dick has his mind firmly set. On Madison. He's taking her out tonight if it kills him.